Don’t let him leave without telling him how much you care about him – its obvious you do in spite of all the hassles. Sit him down and let him know how you really feel, and if what you feel is that there is a place in your family that is going to never be filled by anyone else – let him know that! If you feel that you would let him come back if things dont work out, let him know that too. One of the hardest things to say to anyone is “I love you” because you are putting yourself out there for rejection but you might be surprised – he might feel the same way but never wanted to say because it isnt a manly thing!
My little nephew handles it quite well – that he has a Tamworth home and an Adelaide home and people that love him in both places. Maybe just tell him that because people move away it doesn’t mean they don’t love you anymore – my nephew always asks me “Do you still love me there in Adelaide Aunty?” and I always say “I love you wherever I am and wherever you are ” It’s going to be hard but little kids always seem to adapt the best. You might also want to tell your SK that you are worried how 3yo will take it.
My parents were sometimes a pain in the a** while I was growing up, and sometimes I wished they would go away, but the reason I miss them is because they were always there for me and because they loved me enough to tell me the hard truths. The truth is that you love your husband, and therefore by proxy you love your SK – no matter what! and you might not realized it yourself up till now.. Its hard to let go of other people – I was happy for my parents and felt they deserved to go off and enjoy their life without us kids in the way but I still really miss them and wish they could come back home.